A History of the Custody of Children, Part Two

I apologize for the delay in finishing the article on the custody of children from the 1960s through the mid to late 1990s. I have been busy traveling to Pennsylvania to visit my Father who was recently diagnosed with cancer and, given my workload, my time here in Orlando has been consumed with tending to my case load.

We left off with a review of the expansion of time sharing for the secondary residential parent and the increasing role the psychiatric experts play in making recommendations. These recommendations carry much weight with the Courts as they are trained to evaluate the parents and children and, based on their psychiatric testing determine, what arrangement is in the best interests of the children. Judges and lawyers have increasingly relied on these opinions. As I related, the trend of the recommendations tended to expand the role of both parents' involvement in the lives of the children.

From the late 1990s through the present, judges acknowledged that a stigma existed whereby the secondary parent felt that such a classification put them in an inferior position. Simply applying the term "secondary" in and of itself was causing stress for that parent. As a consequence, the secondary parent was defensive when discussing the interests of the children with the primary parent, and in some cases, the primary parent would talk down to the other parent. Obviously, this tension was counter-productive to the free exchange of essential information which would benefit children.

In Florida, the Family Law attorneys made recommendations to the legislature which included the abolishment of the terms "Primary and Secondary" parents. In October 2008, new legislation effectively abolished these terms. In place thereof, the statutes now require Courts to establish a "Parenting Plan" which does not classify either parent. Rather, the "Plan" simply establishes the times when each parent will have overnight contact with their children. This declassification places the parents on more of an equal footing and allows them to communicate more as equals regarding their discussions so that they are more likely to work together for the best interests of the children which, of course, is the ultimate goal.

Recommendations made by psychiatrists and/or Guardian Ad Litems now place the parents in a more comfortable position and allows them to have meaningful discussions which promotes the best interests of the children which is, most certainly, the goal of any arrangement that will permit the children to grow through their minority without concern that their parents are continually at odds. It also promotes the ultimate goal: that the parents will put aside their differences, bite their tongues, and work together to promote love and affection for the other parent.

Despite the differences which resulted in their divorce, parents must realize that by virtue of having children together, they will forever be involved with each other. They will both participate in the child's first prom, they will see each other at graduation from high school, and hopefully college. They will see each other at the child's wedding and certainly meet at the hospital to witness the birth of their grandchildren.

The new statute by eliminating the stigma of a custody "designation" seems to be helping parents cope with each other. Contact with the children is shared to a larger degree and the parents tend to deal more respectfully with each other.

While there is no perfect cure for the animosity people experience while going through a divorce – one of the most tragic experiences a human may experience in a lifetime – this new approach seems to be having a favorable impact. Anything that will help them communicate for the best interests of a child is another step in the right direction. If parents can learn to respect each other, and the other's new spouse or significant-other post divorce, children of divorce may expect to enjoy a better childhood and grow into happier, healthier, and more productive persons with brighter futures.